How to ride the Forgotten World Highway

State Highway 43, known for tourism purposes as the Forgotten World Highway, runs between Taumarunui in the central North Island and Stratford in Taranaki district. It's a great ride, but there are a few quirks it's good to know about, and a cracking destination at the end that's only open for a few months of the year.

That destination is the Tawhiti Museum which is quite simply the best museum of any kind in the world, ever. I like museums, and frankly I don't care what kind of exhibits they have, as long as they're awesome. Well, this museum is about the history of the Taranaki region, and covers a lot of maori/pakeha relations in the 19th century. It's situated in an old dairy factory just outside of Hawera. Words cannot do justice to this fascinating place – you’ll have to check their website and read the reviews. It’s open every day in January, and on Sundays in the middle of winter. Check their website for exact details.

First things first. This route is best ridden from east to west, because it's mostly downhill. Here's the map:

Taumarunui to Hawera via Ohura

Taumarunui used to be a major railways town, but like most central North Island towns it’s now a shadow of its former self. Much of the route along SH43 follows the old railway line from Taumarunui to Stratford, which no longer carries trains – but that doesn’t mean it’s completely unused… 

Your options for getting to Taumarunui are threefold. If you’re coming from the north by bike, I recommend the Pureora Forest Timber Trail, which will take you to Ongarue. 

You can get a train from Auckland or Wellington, but it’s pretty expensive and slow – but definitely worth doing once, especially if you’ve never been to New Zealand before. Get off at National Park, then zoom northwards down the hill into Taumarunui. And of course, you can always catch an InterCity or NakedBus coach from pretty much anywhere. This is always the cheapest option.

Okay, so the first thing to know is that you should NOT begin by starting on SH43! The hills for the first few kilometres are INSANE and no matter how fit you are and how light your bike is, you will be pushing for HOURS (and the views aren't even that good). The best thing to do is leave Taumarunui heading north on Golf Rd, which becomes the Ongarue Back Road. It’s very pleasant riding. Go all the way to Ongarue itself – a settlement which peaked around 1920 – or cut left after 10 Km onto Okahukura Saddle Rd. Either way, you’re heading for Ohura.

Okahukura Saddle Rd is sealed but is quite twisty. I like it, but if you want to go the whole 25 Km up to Ongarue then head down Ohura Rd, that’s probably a little easier and less hilly. You’ll have to ride a few kilometres of SH4, but it’s not a big deal. Ohura Rd from SH4 is lovely, a gentle winding descent that makes you feel much fitter than you really are.

Ohura is the quintessential Town that Time Forgot. It peaked in the 1950s. It once had a population of around 3000, but now there are only about 150 people living there. Most of the houses have been removed (which is common in NZ as houses are generally made of wood). There’s not much there – no shops, for example – but it did once have a prison there, which has been converted into a backpackers. Check to see whether it’s open, as it has changed hands a few times in recent years. Camping in or around Ohura should not be difficult – just ask one of the locals for a suitable place to pitch your tent.

From Ohura, head south back onto SH43. Congratulations, you’ve just skipped a MASSIVE hill with this detour. From here, it’s a pretty straightforward run into Whangamomona. It’s hilly, but there’s practically no traffic and the scenery’s lovely. Whangamomona has a nice old pub and a commercial camping site. Along the way you’ll go through the spectacular Takarau Gorge, which separates Ruapehu district from Taranaki.

After Whangamomona, the lands begins to flatten out into the marshy farmland of Taranaki. Stratford is an actual town, with actual shops and everything. From there, it’s a flat run to Eltham (also an actual, functioning town), Hawera and the Tawhiti Museum.

From Hawera you can take SH3 to Whanganui, but it’s a bit dull and there’s traffic, so when I’ve done it, I’ve taken a bus from Hawera back to Wellington.

How to ride your bike between Auckland and Wellington

For the past few years, I have been looking for the best routes between the two main cities of the North Island of New Zealand. By “best”, I mean a route that is reasonably direct, with little traffic, good scenery, sufficient services along the way and is not too hilly.

Due to the topography of the island, there are certain unavoidable bottlenecks. The most important feature of the North Island is the volcanic plateau, where precipitation runoff from the three mountains Ruapehu, Ngaruahoe and Tongariro form rivers heading in all directions. Further south, between Palmerston North and Upper Hutt, the ridges of the Tararua ranges result in rivers running east-west, which means there are only a few options available when crossing them, as there are only so many bridges. To the west of the Tararuas lies the Kapiti Coast, a narrow strip with really only one road, which is heavily trafficked and is not great for cycle touring.

I’ll write up the routes going from Auckland to Wellington, but they will work fine in either direction, as the hills have much the same gradient either way.

General advice

Use Google Maps. For everything! And use Street View. Almost every road in NZ has been mapped by Google, including some paper roads which were never even built (but are probably rideable). Also, bear in mind that much of rural NZ was surveyed and planned but never properly settled – for example, central Taranaki turned out to be far too wet and rugged for farming, so many roads were started but never finished. Often, only the pilot track still exists. Had the settlement proved viable, the track would have been widened into a road. Sometimes these roads (or tracks) are perfectly rideable; sometimes they’re not. There are many commercial forests in the central north island and some of them can be ridden. Google knows about the roads, although they might not be signposted and you probably aren’t legally allowed to be there, as these forests are private property. Avoid them if they’re being logged, as you don’t want to get run over by a truck, but in some situations they can be worth investigating. For the purposes of this trip, however, there’s no advantage to going through forests.

When I’m looking for new routes, I usually enter the start and end points and see what happens. Then I drag the blue line around to see if there are any alternate routes. I’ve discovered lots of interesting back roads this way.

All NZ topographical maps are available at http://www.topomap.co.nz/ which makes a good complement to Google Maps.

Accommodation

Unfortunately, free camping is pretty much illegal in most parts of the country. Exceptions can be found along the Lake Waikaremoana road, and apparently the road around East Cape, though I haven’t been there. However, stealth camping is quite possible in many rural parts of the country, and if you ask, many people in country areas will let you put a tent up on one of their paddocks.

I’m a fan of old country hotels. Due to the liquor licensing laws of NZ, which have traditionally been very conservative, most country pubs had to have a hotel attached. Many are pretty run down, but some are perfectly fine and provide good value accommodation. They’ll be about the same price as a modern motel, but in my opinion are more interesting. I also like hanging out in the public bars of old country pubs and chatting to the locals about matters historical.

Services

Most small North Island towns peaked in population around the 1960s and they are all a shadow of their former selves. Hamilton (which is a small city) and Taupo (large town) are the exceptions that prove the rule. Piopio is small but growing, because it’s on a busy highway, but most other little towns are just dots on the map. Some places on the map are just intersections which clearly have never had anything built on them at all. Some towns still have some people living there, but have no shops and most of the houses have been removed long ago. If you’re uncertain about whether the towns you’re passing through will have what you need – food, accommodation, shops – then Google them and Street View them.

Safety

NZ back roads and the semi-ghost towns they connect are generally very safe. Also, NZ has no dangerous animals. Your biggest risk is likely to be traffic. Personally, I don’t find NZ drivers to be that bad, but opinions vary widely on this subject. Suffice to say I always take the road less traveled, as there’s less traffic and it’s more fun that way. If in doubt, take the smaller road, take your time and enjoy the countryside.

One caveat, however: be careful around water, particularly crossing rivers. A hundred years ago, drowning was once so common that it was known as “the New Zealand death”. Don’t attempt to cross a river at all unless you have talked to a local person about it first. Also, don’t get lost in the bush. People die in the hills and mountains every year because they get lost. It isn’t like Switzerland, with a village around every corner. But if you stick to the roads, no matter how minor they are, you really can’t go wrong. Every road will get some traffic, and if you’re really in trouble you will be able to flag down a ride to civilisation.

It rains a lot in NZ all year round, and the temperature and wind direction can change rapidly. I recommend you always have a good raincoat and warm clothes with you at all times, no matter what season. Even in midsummer it can snow in the mountains and you will have long descents which will chill you if you’re not well insulated. Don’t get hypothermia!

NZ has excellent merino wool thermals which are available everywhere and are good value for money if you buy on sale and avoid the luxury brands. I always wear a merino singlet and underwear every day, whether I’m touring or just sitting in an office building, and when I’m touring I wear a merino polo shirt and take a long sleeved merino jersey with me too. That, plus a hat, merino gloves and a good raincoat with a hood and I’m good down to freezing point, no matter how much it’s raining.

Mobile phone coverage in rural NZ is patchy. All the mobile phone operators will tell you they have good rural coverage, but in my experience Spark (formerly known as Telecom) has always had the best.

Getting out of Auckland #1: by train

It’s perfectly possible to ride all the way out of Auckland, but much of it is not terribly interesting and there are pleasant alternatives for getting out quickly via public transport. Your options are bus, train or ferry. I often use buses to get out of town at the start and end of a tour, as they’re cheap, and they go to places the railways don’t go any more. InterCity or NakedBus are your main options here.

Auckland’s commuter rail network is growing, having stagnated for many years, and now extends as far south as Pukekohe. So, jump on a train and hop off in Pukekohe, then head down the Waikato River on quiet, scenic roads towards Hamilton.

Riding from Pukekohe to Hamilton

Getting out of Auckland #2: by ferry

There are two good ferry options: Auckland to Pine Harbour at Beachlands, and Auckland to Coromandel. Both take you due east of Auckland city and into great riding straight away. From Beachlands you can amble down towards Hamilton, and from Coromandel Town you’re well positioned to head east, out towards Tauranga and the Bay of Plenty. There are lots of back roads to choose from.

Auckland to Pine Harbour by ferry

From Pine Harbour, you can head south east through the Hunua Ranges. I haven’t ridden this myself yet, but I’m looking forward to doing so.

Auckland to Coromandel by ferry

For some reason Google has forgotten about the Coromandel ferry, so the route above shows how to get there by bus. However, the ferry does exist and it’s big and fast. The Coromandel Peninsula is spectacular. The east side is usually considered to be the prettiest, with the best beaches, but it’s also the hilliest, busiest, most commercial, and has the most traffic. I prefer the west side.

Into the Waikato

The Waikato (south of Auckland) is open country, but due to the way the rivers work your route options are somewhat limited by the bridges available. Riding past Huntly on the left bank of the Waikato River is very pretty, and has almost no traffic. That’s because on the right bank of the river is the country’s busiest stretch of road, on State Highway One, NZ’s primary arterial route. SH1 is always best avoided if possible.

Hamilton is something of a national joke in NZ, which is undeserved. The locals are actually quite happy about this – that is, being overlooked – because Hamilton is actually a lovely town, with leafy suburbs, cheap houses, two universities, great cafes, a vibrant art scene and beautiful botanic gardens. If it was more popular it would be less affordable and gentrification might spoil some of its best features. It’s definitely worth taking a day to explore, especially the gullies (ask a local). And you can ride new riverside cycle tracks from Ngaruawahia right into Hamilton.

In recent years Hamilton central has been fading from its former (minor) glory, as the new developments in the region – big-box retail and huge car parks – are now centred in the north of the city. The city is not large, but it’s in the middle of some of the world’s most productive farm land. Hamilton is also the home of Fonterra, NZ’s largest company, company, which happens to be a farmer-owned milk co-operative.

Crossing the Volcanic Plateau

Leaving Hamilton, it’s time to make a strategic choice between going over the Volcanic plateau to the east of Mt Ruapehu (which will take you through Taupo) or to the west (which has fewer towns and less traffic.) Either way, you’ll end up on State Highways on the plateau: there are no alternatives, unless you want to go all the way out to New Plymouth on the west coast or via Napier on the east. I’ve ridden it on both sides of the mountain, and prefer SH4 on the west side. However, I have by choice ridden SH1 from Waiouru to Taupo at night during winter. This was because almost all the traffic on that road is large trucks. They are lit up like Christmas trees, so they’re very easy to see, and the truckies drive it every night, so they are pretty safe to share the road with. The alternative, SH4, is the road snow lovers will take to get to the Whakapapa and Turoa ski fields. This means the traffic will be mostly fast cars from Auckland and Wellington, who don’t drive the road as often as the truckies drive SH1. They’ll be going faster than the trucks, too. All that means that at night, in winter, SH1 is a safer bet (and more scenic, too, if you have a clear night).

Hamilton to National Park village

This route avoids SH4 where possible and takes you through some beautiful farming country, much of it on gravel roads. Waitomo is the home of the famous Waitomo Caves, and the backroads between Piopio, Aria and Taumarunui are gorgeous. Note there are no shops between Piopio and Taumarunui if you go this way. As always, check out the route on Google Maps and use Street View where available. There are houses and woolsheds where you can get water, but you’ll need a couple of days’ food with you.

From Taumarunui, SH4 is your only option, but it’s not too bad – a gentle climb, gradually steepening until you reach National Park, which is at the very northern edge of the plateau. From there it’s an easy run across to Ohakune, a ski town at the southern edge of the plateau. And don't forget to take a left at Horipito onto the Ohakune Old Coach Road, one of the best little shortcuts in the central North Island. It's a detour of maybe 20 minutes, with three distinct changes of terrain and three different disused railway bridges. Really good stuff.

Into the Manawatu

Heading south from Ohakune, your options expand once more. Perhaps the simplest is straight down SH4 to Whanganui, which is a fast, sealed highway, quite pretty, with not much traffic. Alternatively, head west to Raetihi and down to Pipiriki on the Whanganui River and then out to Whanganui itself, but it’s very hilly. I’ve done it once and don’t plan to do it again anytime soon. Or you can head east over to Waiouru and drop down into Taihape, but you’ll end up on SH1 for a lot of it and while it’s a fun descent, I find the traffic spoils the ride a bit.

My preference is to take one of the river roads to get to the Manawatu plains. Mt Ruapehu drains southward via two rivers, the Whangaehu and the Turakina. Each river valley has its road, which you can follow south-south-east to the sea. Both are twisty, gravel country roads, with very little traffic – and they’re all downhill (more or less.)

One of the good things about that, apart from the peace and quiet and relaxed riding, is that if you do need to get rescued, you’ll be able to hitch a ride really easily because the only traffic you’ll find will be local farm vehicles. They are far more likely to stop for you than the traffic you’ll find on highways, and what’s more they’ll almost certainly be able to put your bike in the back and either take you close to where you need to go, or provide mechanical assistance, if that’s what you require.

There are no towns along these river roads.

National Park to Palmerston North via Turakina Valley Rd, Marton and Feilding

National Park to Palmerston North via Whangaehu Valley Rd, Bulls and Rongotea

Into Wellington

At Palmerston North you have two options for getting to Wellington: through Horowhenua to west of the Tararuas via SH1 or into the Wairarapa, to the east of the Tararuas, via SH2. The first option is a very busy stretch of highway with heavy traffic and I don’t recommend it. The east side takes longer but it’s much more scenic and pleasant. It takes you through the sparsely populated Wairarapa region. You can get a train to Wellington from Masterton, or carry on to Featherston, then over the Rimutaka ranges via the famous Rimutaka Rail Trail. And don’t forget to check out the Fell Locomotive Museum in Featherston, it’s really cool.

It’s easy to accidentally end up on SH2 in the Wairarapa, which isn’t much fun as the roads are mostly straight lines and the traffic is fast. Again, because of the rivers draining from the Tararuas, your options for crossing rivers are few and that dictates where you’ll go. There were some bridges out in the western foothills, north of Featherston, which if you look carefully at the map seem to still be there, but in fact they were destroyed by earthquakes in the 1940s and only the rail bridges have been fixed. Given the low population in the area, that isn’t likely to change any time soon.

Palmerston North to Wellington via the Wairarapa and the Rimutaka Rail Trail

There are several route options, but basically, keep west of SH2 when north of Masterton, and east of SH2 when south of Masterton and you can’t go far wrong. I’ve included Martinborough in the route. It’s a bit out of the way, but it’s a very pretty town, surrounded by vineyards. Good food and wine in the area.

At Featherston, stop at Everest Café (it’s the best!), then do the Fell Loco Museum, then ride the Rimutaka Incline up to the Summit station. After that, you’re on the Rimutaka Rail Trail which will take you back towards SH2, heading into Upper Hutt.

It’s a fast descent into Upper Hutt, but it’s MUCH nicer to go through Maymorn and take the back roads down to Silverstream. If it’s late and you just want to get to Wellington, you can take pleasant back roads from Maymorn directly to Upper Hutt station for a train to Wellington, without having to take SH2.

I recommend you study the map carefully around Kaitoke Loop Rd before you get there, because it’s easy to take the obvious option and just get on the highway, which means you miss out on lots fo good riding. You need to hold your horses and find the right road, which isn’t signposted, and lift your bike over a gate. Check it out on Street View.

You can get a train at Silverstream if you like, or ride the Hutt River Trail to Petone, then carry on all the way into Wellington.

From Featherston, you can get to Wellington by riding round the south coast, from Fitzroy Bay to Palliser Bay, but it’s mostly on a rocky beach and it’s always very windy. The Rimutaka Rail Trail is much nicer.

Riding in Wellington

Wellington is famous for road riding and excellent mountain biking. You can google up your own info on that, but I want to show you a nice day tour which isn’t really documented well anywhere else. It’s a loop which takes you out through farmland in Ohariu Valley. It’s definitely touring country, but right next to Wellington. There’s a big climb to the north of Karori, but you can get a train to start. You can ride in either direction, but I recommend going anticlockwise because that way you have an excuse to catch a train to Johnsonville, which I reckon is one of the best railway journeys in the world: it’s very scenic, very cheap and mercifully short – and it actually takes you somewhere useful. Bikes travel free on Wellington trains.

Start at Wellington Railway Station and take the train to Johnsonville, then follow this route:

That will take you back to Wellington through Ohariu Valley, with a side trip to Makara Beach on the wild west coast. It’s sealed roads all the way. As you can see on the map, it’s possible to head out to the south coast, but it’s rough and very hilly. It’s not possible to go all the way from Makara Beach clockwise round the coast back to Wellington: no road!

Here’s the popular Round the Bays circuit you’ll see roadies doing all the time:

This ride is an excellent way to get to know Wellington and I’d call it a must-do. It’s best ridden clockwise, because it’s easier to get up to Brooklyn from the south, as the gradient is much shallower that way compared to riding up from the city.

Another great ride which isn’t widely known is a day trip across the Akatarawa Ranges, from Waikanae to Upper Hutt. Get a train to Waikanae from Wellington, which takes about an hour and has lots of lovely views out over the sea on the west coast. Grab lunch at a local café, then climb up to the summit of the Akatarawa Road. The descent from the top down into Upper Hutt is brilliant fun – a fast, twisty road, and too narrow for it to be any fun even for motorcycles – but it’s perfect for bikes. Get a train back to Wellington from Upper Hutt, or hop over to Mangaroa and take the back roads to Silverstream as previously described. This ride is best down north-to-south.

Waikanae to Upper Hutt via the Akatarawa Road

Leaving Wellington

Leaving Wellington via the Akatarawa Road (as above) then heading out over the Rimutaka Rail Trail is my recommendation. Alternatives are to get a bus north to where you want to go, or get a train to Palmerston North or to Masterton. You can fly – just put your bike in a cardboard box and you won’t be charged any extra. You can get boxes free from any bike shop, or if you prefer to ride to the airport, Air New Zealand will sell you one for $25. That’s kind of expensive for a piece of cardboard, but it’s what you need, where you need it and it can save you from paying for transport to the airport.

The other alternative for leaving Wellington is to take a ferry. The two operators, the Interisland Line and Bluebridge, are very similar. They both take around three and a half hours to reach Picton (which is the only place they go) and the prices are about $40, plus $10 for your bike. I find the Bluebridge ships slightly more comfortable, but I usually make a decision on price. I like to get a ferry very late at night, so I can sleep on the boat – take your mattress and sleeping bag and find a quiet spot. The ferry will get in around 4 am and you can ride into the dawn and then crash out on the side of the road for a snooze once the day warms up. Lovely!

At some point in the future I’ll write up good touring routes in the South Island. Please feel free to comment if you have any questions.

Triennial Blog Update

Hello, gentle readers! I've been touring; that's why I haven't updated this blog in years. Here are some recent highlights.

Old John and I have explored the entire Wellington-to-Auckland route, via the Wairarapa and the Central North Island, then out to the Beachlands ferry. We've ridden right the way round the Coromandel Peninsula, including the tramping track with the two 400 metre climbs, in the first week of January in blazing sunshine. We've spent three weeks and 1300 Km riding from Picton to Blackball to Granity to Nelson and back to Picton. Earlier this year, I rode the Alps 2 Ocean.

But now and again, you want something slightly more challenging... Brazil!

Tomorrow I fly out to Santiago, via Auckland and the next day I fly to Rio de Janeiro. Plan is to ride from Rio, more or less down the coast to Porto Alegre, via Curitiba and Florianopolis. Also, I have a kiwi friend who lives in Rio Grande do Sul who I am keen to catch up with. I'm meeting my wife in Montevideo (Uruguay) in June.

I've been learning Portuguese from Samba music, Brazilian cop movies and Duolingo. Can't wait to use it for real:) I'm planning on staying mostly with Warmshowers.org hosts, at pousadas (country inns), backpackers and B&Bs. I'm bringing camping gear, but it seems camping isn't a thing in Brazil so I might bot have many opportunities to use it. We shall see.

I am travelling light, which means I'm taking my usual go-to bike, with the tools, USB gadgets and contingency gear - gloves, balaclava, Tiger Balm - that stay with the bike at all times. I'm adding my lightest tent, lightest sleeping bag and my light and compact Big Agnes mattress see-through air mattress. This will see me right down to about +5 degrees at night. If I was going somewhere colder, I'd take my Ground Effect Stormtrooper raincoat (seam sealed, with a hood) and my Sea to Summit Macro II down sleeping bag - but I'd take the same tent).



I like gear lists, so here goes.

Bike

1982 Trek 720 touring bike, 23" top tube (my favourite bike ever)
Mavic MA2 rims, 36 H, Shimano RSX 100 7 speed cassette hubs, stainless spokes
Schwalbe Kojak 700x35 mm slick tyres
TA chainset 46/26
Suntour Vx GT rear derailleur
Suntour Cyclone front deraileur
Suntour ratchet bar end shifters
Nitto Moustache handlebar
Weinmann centrepull brakes
Dia-Compe brake levers and lever stubs
Nitto technomic stem, 100 mm
MKS Sylvan Touring pedals with Christophe toeclips
Gilles Berthoud mudguards
Brooks mudflap
Front LED http://www.dx.com/p/xc-997b-cree-3w-200lm-3-mode-white-led-bicycle-bike-light-4-x-aa-108640#.U0IXlj2SyMI
Rear LED PDW Fenderbot
1976 Brooks B17N saddle
Stainless steel saddlebag rack (copy of 1960s Karrimor)
Carradice Camper Longflap saddlebag (28 litres)

Tools

Puncture kit
Micro chain breaker
Sandpaper, chalk
Superglue
Band-Aids
Small screwdriver to tighten hinges on sunglasses
3,4,5,6 mm allen keys
2 small rags
6 inch adjustable spanner (for pedals)
13/14 mm cone spanner

Camping gear

Zpacks hexamid Solo Plus tent with groundsheet and flyscreen 600g http://www.zpacks.com/shelter/hexamid_plus.shtml
Thermarest prolite 4 S 380 g
Outer Limits +10 deg synthetic sleeping bag, 600g
Silk sleeping bag liner

Clothes

1 pr worn old dress shoes (durable, fit toeclips well, can be dressed up or down by polishing, or not)
1 pr Macpac tramping socks, black and green
1 pr Dickies 13" shorts, faded brown with internal passport pocket (don't wanna look too flash in Brazil)
Reversible black/brown belt with concealed buckle
Seiko 5 automatic wristwatch (worn at airports, not worn on the road)
My most beat-up pair of Vuarnet 058 sunglasses
Kathmandu merino boxer shorts, black, x2
Kathmandu merino singlet (100 g)
Macpac olive merino 3 button polo shirt, short sleeved (200 g)
Logan black merino 2 button polo jersey, long sleeved (400 g)
Shoelace round neck to hang sunglasses from
Kangol 504 hat (folds up nicely, durable, keeps the sun off)
Outdoor Research Redline windbreaker, no hood, seam sealed by me
Cotton flannel (a wet flannel on the back of the neck keeps you cool)

So that means no change of clothes except for underwear - and yet I can look fairly respectable, or down-at-heel, according to what works best for the situation I'm in. With merino garments, you can just wash them with you in the shower, wring 'em out and put on wet. They'll keep you warm and your body heat with dry them out. I plan on buying a Brazilian beach sarong and maybe a pair of linen pants when I get to Rio. And a straw hat.

Miscellaneous stuff

Two credit cards (kept separate)
Some reals and USD (hidden in bike's steerer tube)
Nail clippers
Hand sanitiser
Tiger Balm
Tooshbrush & tooshpaste
No cooking gear
Sweet Cheeks Butt Butter http://www.capitalcycles.co.nz/sweet-cheeks-butt-butter
USB battery http://www.dx.com/p/portable-universal-6600mah-dual-usb-solar-power-bank-for-iphone-ipad-ipod-white-5v-290667#.U0IZnj2SyMI
2 x USB cables
Samsung Galaxy S2 phone
Black Diamond ion head torch
USB rechargable mini-LED http://www.dx.com/p/mini-usb-rechargeable-led-flashlight-green-black-248986#.U0IXhD2SyMI

Luxury Item

Remington USB hair clipper - because I'm a baldie with a beard.

I arrive in Rio on Wednesday 9 April. Wish me luck!

Marlborough Sounds tour

Okay, I'm back for my traditional bi-annual post, literally by popular demand. Mike the Canadian and Lisa from Wellington have both been prodding me to get blogging again, so I have elected to cave in and write up my most recent tour.

June means one thing and that's Queen's Birthday Weekend. For the uninitiated, this is a public holiday in New Zealand, with a Monday off work. I got a day's leave for the preceding Friday and started mapping: http://goo.gl/2tFWs

My mate Old John came down on Thursday in his Hiace pop-top camper with one of his moped bikes tucked away inside. I hadn't seen him since since New Years and hadn't ridden with him since the previous Easter, when we did the Gentle Annie (read: steep-as hill) road from Taihape to Napier. That's another story, but suffice to say there was practically zero traffic and that's a really good start.

Anyway, John arrived at my place in Wellington and had his bike ready to go by the time I got home from work. He was travelling light - just four Ortliebs - which turned out to contain a bare minimum of 3 hats; two raincoats; a pair of elastic-sided leather boots AND a pair of sheepskin ugg boots, plus the usual assortment of lunchboxes, thermoses, mp3 players, battery powered speakers and a helmet cam. 

By contrast, this was my most laissez-faire tour to date. I took the Trek, which is at present my daily commuter bike, with it's usual Carradice Camper Longflap saddlebag and the usual assortment of Some Tools in the side pockets. I took with me a pair of Dickies 874 pants, Dickies 13" shorts and Dickies double knee Plus Fours which I had my other favourite old guy modify to my random requirements. (Are they any good? Well... Quite good for riding in chilly weather, but I got cold ankles and they're a bit of a pest when you have to go to the bog). Also threw in 4 pairs of socks and my second smallest sleeping bag. I could have done without it, as we stayed in hostelages every night (something about it being ostensibly cold and the middle of winter). Didn't bother taking food, or extra water bottles. 

As is my wont, I'd booked a 3am ferry departure. This is partly because all the daytime ferries get booked out well in advance and party because it gets you to Picton at dawn and it's nice to ride into a new day but mostly because you can usually score a place to sleep and I find the three and a half hour trip across Cook Strait intensely tedious... 

Thus we arrove in Pickers bright and bleary on Friday morning to a light overcast sky and the usual sights and smells of a greasy port. I's remound of those times with my parents back in '78 - '79, waiting for the hovercraft at Calais with the two Mercedes driven over from Stuttgart. Long story there too. 

So, off we went along Queen Charlotte Drive, which always gets me smiling. On the map you can see the main roads going south from Picton to Blenheim, then west along the Wairau and up to Havelock. This is the optimal driving route to get to Nelson. QCD is actually shorter but very twisty, so only twowrists do it and in June there aren't many of those. We stopped at the lookout above the log yard, which is truly massive and rather intimidating. I assume these piles of trees came from anywhere and everywhere north of Lyttelton, which as far as I know is the next most southerly South Island port. That's one stonking amount of biomass. Mixed feelings there. Ah, NZ, the primary producer. Arbitrage our currency, do, awfully.

Anyway, the day progressed nicely and we arrived at our first destination of Portage (or Potrage, as I prefer it). I've stayed there before on one of my three Queen Charlotte Track excursions, but that's Munty Mountainbadger and John, being a bit 71, prefers to stick to the sealed roads. This was the perfect opportunity to check out Kenepuru Sound (being on the other side of the ridge from Queen Charlotte Sound) and the road rather than the track. I thoroughly recommend doing both.

Since it's winter we had the pick of the hostels so we opted to try the backpackerish bit of the Portage Resort Hotel. NZ$40 a night each for a twin bunk room, with shared kitchen and bathroom. There was nobody else there, so that suited us fine. Problem with Potrage (and the Sounds generally) is that shops are very few and far between. In fact the nearest shop to anything was the petrol station back in Linkwater and their pie selection was, sorry to say, quite underwhelming. 

Initially I'd intended to go to Blenheim first - essentially to do the route we took in reverse order - but it didn't really matter. For future reference, don't rely on buying food at the Portage store because the selection is poor and it's REALLY expensive, like $5.60 for a can of baked beans or $7.50 for a packet of Toffee Pops. They're certainly garnering quite a reputation for price gouging among the Marlborough people we spoke to, as you would expect. It's not like they're on an island or anything. Jeez, one might even say. Frankly you could just drive into Blenheim, stick a few boxes of groceries on the back seat and be home in a couple of hours. Mark up the retail price 100% and it'd still be cheaper than their current prices. I'd have bought more if their prices were lower. The coffee was diabolical. 

Anyway, no biggie. The next day we ventured further up the gorgeous Kenepuru Rd towards Punga Cove. We didn't go down to the cove itself (should have really, though I'd been there before) but instead decided to push on up the hill heading north towards Titirangi. Apparently it's an old farm, formerly accessible exclusively by boat. Very remote. Unfortunately getting there was quite the slog - a dirt road built for diesels, not muscles - and we abandoned once we were (probably) most of the way up. I was pushing and even John was having tro nurse his motor, which is kinda the opposite of what motors are for, I'd say. Anyway, we didn't fancy having to climb that hill again the following day so we cut our losses and retreated back to Smith's Farm Holiday park in Linkwater. 

The Nice Lady who booked us in was Nice Indeed - we each recieved a mug of freshly made soup and a muffin, hurrah! Just the thing. We were assigned a cabin with four bunks, very clean and tidy and practically brand new. It was raining pretty hard by then and it was nice to get into a warm bed for the night.

John was sporting his new bought-on-the-Internet rain pants, which seemed to do the trick. I was wearing my usual touring shoes - a pair of Cordovan laceups with a capped toe, which I bought second hand from Ziggurat on Cuba St a few years back and which are onto their third resoling and counting. I wore these through 4 days of very wet Mountainbam up in Rotorua over Easter and not only did they not fall to bits, they also dried out fast (with feet inside a fresh pair of socks) and a bit of a brush and polish. Respectable asbro! Special clothes are dumb.

Where were we? In a cabin in Linkwater. It was Sunday morning and off we set to Havelock Not North, as I always think of it. You can tell I'm not a Mainlander. At this junkshop I should mention that John isn't either and in fact hadn't been into the South Island since about nineteen seventy-something. He did a mission down south in a VW Kombi van, had a great time, then repaired to Taranaki to build his housetruck and go back again and Do It Properly. "And then my whole life changed!" he explained - working on oil rigs, living in Kuala Lumpur etc etc - and hadn't been back since. Wee bit of a psychological barrier, I felt, and it was nice to be able to show him round some of my favourite bits in the Top o' the South.

So, the hell slap-up breakfast was obtained in Havelock, plus a couple of bits of greenstone and some soap-for-the-wife at the village hall crafts thingo. And a St John's Ambulance-flavoured sausage. Friendly people - the kids say hello to you down these parts. In Wellington they make do with iPodge instead. Just a city/country thing, really.

The rain had eased a bit, so we took a deep breath (so to speak) and headed south on Highway 6. Not really to be recommended - it's just a speed camera shooting gallery for traffic cops. We were immediately caught-and-released by a cop for not wearing helmets, but since we were whatever we were he let us off with a warning. So after being overtaken by cars and trucks doing the usual 100 Km/h (or more, I suppose) it was a Good Thing to finally turn east onto the road to Tuamarina. This is a shortcut to Highway 1 and the optimal way to get to Blenheim if you're us. Nice road, no traff. My favourite. 

We sifted around Blenheim looking for Backpaku and eventually tracked one down on the other side of the tracks. We also collected a young Japanese twowrist who'd been apple picking and had hitch hiked in from Motueka. She'd been dropped off at the railway station and was googling up a place to stay on her phone. We'd just ascertained the address of our target residence and took her along with us. She was very appreciative and Japanese about it all, which was charming, of course. 

I can't remember the name of the place and I can't be bothered looking it up right now, but suffice to say is was OK and the beds were pretty good. We were sharing with a French guy who was watching the National Geographic Channel and some other guy who got back after John and I had crashed out and was himself crashed out when we left. 

So, Monday, the long slow sift back to the Picton ferry,. Blenheim, like many New Zealand small towns, has Secret Interesting Stuff and in this case it's some nice walking/cycling tracks by the river. They go into town and there's even a little amphitheatre. Don't know if it gets used much but I hope it does. So we cruised around and drank coffee and then rode north back to Pickers for the 7pom boat. There are two ferry operators doing the Cook Strait run - the Interislander, which is the maritime bit of the Railways (it changes ownership every few years, I forget what it's currently called) and a newcomer who usually goes broke after a while. This time the alternative is called Bluebridge and they have a couple of ferried which seem to have come from Denmark or some other country with lines through their Os. I'm an obsessive polymath but again, it's half past midnight as I write this and I can't be arsed googling the detaild. You can do it yourself. Anyway, point being, the boat was quite a bit nicer than the Interislander's ferries and they don't bother with the movie, the clown, the extra cafe and bar. The Bluebridge boats have cabin you can rent (we didn't) and no frills but really a better quality experience overall. They're my ferry of choarce.

So, back in Wellington around 10 pm. My lovely wife picked us up, john crashed out in his van and was gone before I left for work on Tuesday. Overall, a very successful trip. My next goal is to do a tour that lasts more than four days. You're barely even warmed up and then you have to stop. Bo-ring!

Lessons learned: Don't worry about preparation. I reckon there are three phases you go through as a cycle tourist. First, you agonise about what to take, get frutsch because you're overloaded and have to keep repacking everything all the time and after you get home you realise didn't even unpack half of what you took. Then there's phase 2, where you get really keen on minimising everything, you buy the little sleeping bag and the short thermarest and the 2 kilo tent. And when you're out on the road you find you forgot your chain breaker, or you left your thermie back at John's place, or you brang the wrong food. And the third phase is you don't even really think about it and you just jump on your usual bike and ride off. 

Good pix: John Nagle

Bad pix: me